couples counseling

Episode 304: Bring the Receipts to the Table! Learn How to Successfully Communicate with Your Partner with Dr Veronica Eyo, LCSW

As mothers, the caretakers, let’s be honest - after the past two years, we are burnt out. After pushing through for months, we think we’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel, the final countdown to this pandemic and now we feel like we are back to normal… but are we really feeling okay?

In this episode Dr. Veronica Eyo, LCSW, talks about how we can learn to repair the relationships we have with our partners, kids and even ourselves, after what was a dark period for many of us. We lost a lot of time connecting with our partner because we were focusing on other things - our health, working & learning remote, caring for loved ones - and she’s walking us through steps on how to reconnect with each other successfully. Yes, that might mean that we might have to bring some notes notes to future arguments but trust Dr. Eyo when she says it’s for good reason! At the end of the day, there is always room for repair and this episode will encourage you to change for the better. Trust us too, we’re taking lots of notes (and then bringing them back to the table at a later date. 😂)!

Before the episode

Paulina also talks about her weekend trip to Valle de Guadalupe, Mexico and the Airbnb she stayed in. Since she often vacations in Airbnbs with her family and Bricia is currently working on a rental property, she asks her for her suggestions on what all rental homes should have for families. Check out her list below.

  • Kitchen - basic pantry items like salt, pepper, commonly used spices, olive oil. A microwave is great for heating up kid-friendly food like pizza. Plastic utensils, dishes and cups are also a great option, because no one wants to deal with broken glass with kids!

  • Bathroom - basic shampoo, soap and clean towels. If you have a busy rental, make sure you update the towels and linens often! If they get used a lot, they may lose their quality.

  • Great instructions for television use, instructions for jacuzzi/pool, etc. While it’s helpful to reach out to the property owner, it would be better if you really didn’t have to. 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • Basic cleaning supplies - extra trash bags, paper towels, broom/vacuum, etc.

  • First aid kit! Because accidents happen.

What would you add? Share with us in the comments!

More about Dr. Eyo: “Hello. I am Dr. Veronica Eyo, a Bilingual Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and it’s my passion to help mamas, new and seasoned, navigate the challenges of parenthood. I graduated with my doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Southern California where I researched the factors that influence the success of student mothers in higher education institutions.

My journey as a therapist has led me to work with clients throughout different stages of life. I began working with older adults particularly with end-of-life issues before I transitioned into working with adults and couples. During my time working with adults, I mostly worked with women in their twenties and thirties, to manage difficult emotions, set appropriate boundaries, discover their resources, and ultimately grow into feeling confident and competent in themselves. My work with couples focused on deepening communication and understanding to build empathy and trust. 

 I transitioned my practice into primarily working with mothers after I became one. Some of the experiences that I navigated, especially in the beginning, led me to seek specialized training in working with moms but especially with mamas of color. I believe that our shared experience can add to the building of rapport in navigating this pivotal life change. 

I have advanced training in diagnosing and treating antenatal and Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMADs), as well as trauma and infertility. I’m certified in Perinatal Mental Health through Postpartum Support International. Additionally, I am certified in Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).”

Gems from this week’s episode

“The last two years it’s mostly about managing the mom role, the wife role, but where do I find time for me?”

“I’m pouring from an empty cup.”

“I’ve lost time for me and I’ve lost time to connect to my partner.”

“How do you take care of yourself? Do you even know how to take care of yourself? We forget.”

“As a therapist and a mom, I believe in repair. We can try again.”

“I think as mothers, we put these expectations that we have to be the best communicators or we always have to show up for [our families], but the thing is, we’re human too. And we also have other things that pull us. “

pick or tip of the week

Paulina’s tip this week is to schedule date time with your partner. It can be hard to be spontaneous with a busy schedule (work, kids, etc.) but if you commit to setting aside time to be with your partner, it’s something you can both look forward to.

Bricia also suggests a scheduling tip. Set aside one hour a week for house keeping. Imagine that running your home is like running a business and you & your partner are co-CEOs. Following through with it is the hardest part but it’s something you can do together and another way to practice communication and delegate who does what.

Links

Learn more about Dr. Veronica Eyo. Visit her website for more resources and to schedule an appointment. You can also follow her on instagram @drveronicaeyo for more communication & mental health tips.

Dr. Eyo also suggests reading The 5 Love Languages of Children for more insight on how to communicate with your children.

Episode 268: Relationships in the Pandemic - A Valentine’s Day Special with Samara Fabrick

“Part of what keeps eroticism alive in marriage is separateness. You need to be your own person and your partner needs to be their own person, and when you come together as the Venn diagram, that's where the sexy, spicy comes.”

- Samara Fabrick

Are you feeling the love this week? 🥰 Ahead of Valentines Day, we brought back previous guest, Samara Fabrick, a couples therapist who talks to us about relationships during the pandemic. So many of us are facing issues with our partners like never before and Samara is breaking down the pros & cons to our newly realized problems. She is sharing ways that we can get our sexy back with our partners during quarantine and when we need it in the future! 

Listen to our previous episodes with Samara that will help set the mood for Valentine’s Day:

More about Samara Fabrick: Samara Fabrick is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been in private practice as a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills for the past 20 years. Samara specializes in working with clients suffering from anxiety as well as a specialization in relationship and couples therapy. She taught the premarital course, Making Marriage Work, at the American Jewish University for 15 years.  As part of her extensive work with couples, Samara works with a variety of sexual issues including those related to dating and sexuality in the course of long-term relationships. Samara has been married to her husband for 26 years and has two grown children.

How to Get Your Groove Back 😉

  1. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and practicing self care. You need to feel good about yourself first before you focus on anyone else.

  2. Find something that feels novel, or new. Samara suggests a few dates ideas below.

Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

  • Get someone to watch the kids and take a night drive with your partner. Park somewhere and fool around a bit.

  • If you live close to to the beach, take a drive up the coast. Super relaxing.

  • Have a picnic in your backyard or the local park. Do the things that we used to do at the beginning of the pandemic that have become complacent.

  • Do what feels sexy and special - take a bath or hot shower together, read a book.

  • Make a date to have sex! It might not feel sexy to schedule it on the calendar, but it obviously matters enough. You NEED to make time for your partner! Lock the door and tell your kids it’s mommy & daddy time. Your kids will survive. 🤣

  • Paulina’s suggestion - Prior to covid, she and her husband used to visit sex shops together. Now her husband will buy her something sexy online and have it delivered. It’s a fun surprise for both of them.

LINKS

For more information on Samara and to book a session, visit her website at SamaraFabrick.com

Divorce Rates Spike in China due to Coronavirus Lockdown

Paulina mentions how not sexy these sock gloves are (her pick from last week’s episode) but they are SO nice for your feet!

Samara’s favorite books right now - Girl, Woman, Other: A Novel by Bernadine Evaristo and The Vanishing Half: A Novel by Brit Bennett

We’re all also loving with making cocktails at home, especially with Fortaleza tequila! Not sponsored.

Samara’s guilty pleasure is Below Deck on Bravo.

And yes, we’re still obsessed with Bridgerton. Can you blame us?! We’re getting in the Valentine’s Day mood.

Episode 216: Working on a Healthier Marriage and Other Relationships with Therapist Joanne Koegl, LA-LMFT

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We know how much you love new episodes, so we’re back with another one. This week, we’re sitting down with Dr. Joanne Diaz-Koegl, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist from Pasadena, California. She specializes in couples counseling, premarital counseling, loss & grief, individual and personal growth therapy/coaching and so much more. We asked her about the top issues that cause stress in relationships, how we can be better communicators (hint: it’s by being a better listener), and how to take care of your mental health with all the stress of the holidays. We know that speaking about mental health issues can be taboo in the latinx community, but the more we recognize the normalcy of having a healthy mind, the easier we can make the conversation. Dr. Joanne helped us realize that when are able to communicate directly with our partners and ourselves, we can create more fulfilled and happier lives.

Our Conversation with Joanne Koegl

How do you convince your partner to go to therapy?

What are the top three problems that cause stress in a relationship?

Tips for working on your marriage

Tips on communicating in relationships

How do you discuss finances during the holidays?

How do you recommend dealing with challenging in laws?

Do you include your children in your therapy journey? How do you tell them you’re attending therapy?

How does one find a good marriage role model?

Pick or Tip of the Week

Paulina’s tip - she’s always talking about her armpits because she struggles with discoloration. She found a lemon juice toner (it’s actually for your face) but she read that toner can help with armpits and she has noticed that it has made a major difference in coloring. It’s almost four shades lighter!

Bricia’s pick Cristela Alonzo’s new book, “Music to My Years”. She personally loves the audio version since she can hear Cristela’s voice. Just want to show some love to another fellow Latina writer.

Links

Learn more about Joanne and her private practice in Pasadena, CA on her website and follow her on Instagram - @jkoegl.

Joanne’s pick: The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography by Sydney Poitier