As mothers, the caretakers, let’s be honest - after the past two years, we are burnt out. After pushing through for months, we think we’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel, the final countdown to this pandemic and now we feel like we are back to normal… but are we really feeling okay?
In this episode Dr. Veronica Eyo, LCSW, talks about how we can learn to repair the relationships we have with our partners, kids and even ourselves, after what was a dark period for many of us. We lost a lot of time connecting with our partner because we were focusing on other things - our health, working & learning remote, caring for loved ones - and she’s walking us through steps on how to reconnect with each other successfully. Yes, that might mean that we might have to bring some notes notes to future arguments but trust Dr. Eyo when she says it’s for good reason! At the end of the day, there is always room for repair and this episode will encourage you to change for the better. Trust us too, we’re taking lots of notes (and then bringing them back to the table at a later date. 😂)!
Before the episode
Paulina also talks about her weekend trip to Valle de Guadalupe, Mexico and the Airbnb she stayed in. Since she often vacations in Airbnbs with her family and Bricia is currently working on a rental property, she asks her for her suggestions on what all rental homes should have for families. Check out her list below.
Kitchen - basic pantry items like salt, pepper, commonly used spices, olive oil. A microwave is great for heating up kid-friendly food like pizza. Plastic utensils, dishes and cups are also a great option, because no one wants to deal with broken glass with kids!
Bathroom - basic shampoo, soap and clean towels. If you have a busy rental, make sure you update the towels and linens often! If they get used a lot, they may lose their quality.
Great instructions for television use, instructions for jacuzzi/pool, etc. While it’s helpful to reach out to the property owner, it would be better if you really didn’t have to. 🤷🏽♀️
Basic cleaning supplies - extra trash bags, paper towels, broom/vacuum, etc.
First aid kit! Because accidents happen.
What would you add? Share with us in the comments!
More about Dr. Eyo: “Hello. I am Dr. Veronica Eyo, a Bilingual Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and it’s my passion to help mamas, new and seasoned, navigate the challenges of parenthood. I graduated with my doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Southern California where I researched the factors that influence the success of student mothers in higher education institutions.
My journey as a therapist has led me to work with clients throughout different stages of life. I began working with older adults particularly with end-of-life issues before I transitioned into working with adults and couples. During my time working with adults, I mostly worked with women in their twenties and thirties, to manage difficult emotions, set appropriate boundaries, discover their resources, and ultimately grow into feeling confident and competent in themselves. My work with couples focused on deepening communication and understanding to build empathy and trust.
I transitioned my practice into primarily working with mothers after I became one. Some of the experiences that I navigated, especially in the beginning, led me to seek specialized training in working with moms but especially with mamas of color. I believe that our shared experience can add to the building of rapport in navigating this pivotal life change.
I have advanced training in diagnosing and treating antenatal and Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMADs), as well as trauma and infertility. I’m certified in Perinatal Mental Health through Postpartum Support International. Additionally, I am certified in Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).”
Gems from this week’s episode
“The last two years it’s mostly about managing the mom role, the wife role, but where do I find time for me?”
“I’m pouring from an empty cup.”
“I’ve lost time for me and I’ve lost time to connect to my partner.”
“How do you take care of yourself? Do you even know how to take care of yourself? We forget.”
“As a therapist and a mom, I believe in repair. We can try again.”
“I think as mothers, we put these expectations that we have to be the best communicators or we always have to show up for [our families], but the thing is, we’re human too. And we also have other things that pull us. “
pick or tip of the week
Paulina’s tip this week is to schedule date time with your partner. It can be hard to be spontaneous with a busy schedule (work, kids, etc.) but if you commit to setting aside time to be with your partner, it’s something you can both look forward to.
Bricia also suggests a scheduling tip. Set aside one hour a week for house keeping. Imagine that running your home is like running a business and you & your partner are co-CEOs. Following through with it is the hardest part but it’s something you can do together and another way to practice communication and delegate who does what.
Links
Learn more about Dr. Veronica Eyo. Visit her website for more resources and to schedule an appointment. You can also follow her on instagram @drveronicaeyo for more communication & mental health tips.
Dr. Eyo also suggests reading The 5 Love Languages of Children for more insight on how to communicate with your children.
