Photo by @Lilyro_ Robe Kimono by @dmodamia Krista 's top: @hm_kids Skirt: @folklorebk Sabina's Dress: @folklorebk Zixta's Romper :@folklorebk
By: Paulina Lopez-Velazquez @iampaulinalopez
A few days ago, i was looking through some pictures of me and the girls and it hit me, I am now the mother of THREE KIDS!! I know, what a breakthrough, right? But seriously, I think that everything has been so crazy after baby Zixta was born that I really haven’t stopped and take it all in.
The first few months are such a fog in my brain, i was so lost and broken that I just couldn’t or just didn’t even want to think about it. i completely lost myself in the process of trying to hold on to my life before the baby. I wanted to be and feel “normal” again, I wanted control of my life. Get up and get going as it nothing had happened, after all I had been able to do it through my pregnancy. I had it all planned in my head, and nothing went according to plan. That drove me constantly crazy, I put so much stress on my body that I drove myself sick I retrieved from the world and increased my depression.
Those days are fading away slowly and each day things get better, I think I was too afraid of not being able to handle everything at the same time, work, home, my social life, friends etc. And you know what, the truth is that I can’t. At least not yet, and I’m learning to be ok with it. I have a new baby that needs me (or maybe I need her more), I have had to slow down and let go of trying to achieve perfection. Every day is very different, some days go by easy, everyone cooperates and we make it on time to school, work, church or whatever commitment we have without any tears or fights. I find time to pick everyone’s clothes and do everyone’s hair (including mine) make color pancakes and even leave the house behind looking decent. I might even squeeze in doing our grocery shopping with all three, or a quick trip to whatever fun event is happening around town (like really quick trips). Wow I am a Super Mama!
But for real, most days are NOT like that, they are actually super crazy, there are fights and tears happening as early as 7 am. I’m scrambling to get everyone ready and out the door with at least shoes on and a clean face, we have to take whatever I manage to throw on a paper plate to eat on the way while I barely brushed my teeth and put up my hair up on a pony tail. If we have a commitment there is a 99% chance that I’m going to be late or even have to cancel. When I do show I’m probably going to show up looking like someone is chasing me down the street. I usually have milk stains on my clothes and realize that I don’t remember when was the last time I washed my hair or find myself asking, have I eaten today? When I’m running late, Zixta most likely will have a diaper explosion (no joke) or Sabina will spill food on her clothes, Krista will decide she must take that one toy we haven’t seen in days or she can’t remember where she put her homework 5 minutes ago. Those days are hard, at the end of the day I am so spent that I put my head down and I’m gone in less than 3 seconds, with a dirty face, clothes and glasses on.
And this is my new normal, this is what my life looks like right now, it’s not super glamorous, but it is beautiful, its messy its crazy and I’m in love with it. I realized that while I might not be accomplishing as much on my “professional side” I am accomplishing beyond what I would imagine at home. We are making it work, creating a life that is worth everything. My kids only see the good side, they have often told me that they have had the “best days ever” lately (even in the middle of a chaos. And that is what I want my new normal life to be all about.
Photo by @Lily_ro Robe Kimono by @dmodamia Krista 's top: @hm_kids Skirt: @folklorebk Sabina's Dress: @folklorebk Zixta's Romper :@folklorebk
